Ella – 4 years old, 10th August 2010.
Don’t faint but here I am.
The notable absence has been more due to the fact that I am unable to talk about stuff I really want to write about. So saving everyone from protracted and boring passworded accounts of everything, I’ve disappeared.
Sad really, I kinda hoped that Kit would be my most blogged pregnancy and baby and it turns out that he is probably going to be the least of all of them.
But anyway – the reason for this entry is my Ellabean.
Yesterday my middle bean, my littlest girl was 4. It seems crazy that this time four years ago I was looking after another little newborn. She was the cutest baby. All placid and sleepy. Easy to look after. We even took a picture of her crying once, to prove she did! She smiled early at 3 and a half weeks. Started as she meant to go on.
Ella,
You are the possibly at your most precocious right now. You have hit the emotional age of a 13 year old with full force and currently you’re waging one long, insistent battle with anyone that stays in your line of sight long enough. Couple this with your insatiable need for affection and your desire to love everyone with wild abandon and you are one bundle of contradiction.
You are still my funny one – my little cheeky monkey. Crazy Ella you still very much are. Bonkers and out of your brains silly, loving and gorgeous, witty and clever. I can’t believe that you are going to be at school in less than a month. It doesn’t seem five minutes since you were born. Daddy and I were just saying on Monday that this time 4 years ago we were just getting to know you and now how could we ever imagine life without you!?
This year you begged and begged for a Princess bike for your birthday, we went out and bought one ready and whilst it was waiting in the shed to be assembled, the very next day you decided for the first time in months that actually you would like the Hello Kitty one. After this? You decided you didn’t want any presents at all….
Hard to please? You? No not at all 
Love you millions billions and squillions
Mummy
x
Freddie
If you could find it in your hearts to support my sister in supporting the hospital SCBU that took care of lovely Freddie in Aptil then I would really appreciate it.
You can find out how here
On a more upbeat note!
I am officially one month away from my due date.
I have a bug or buglette due to join the Nutty Family Tree and I am apprehensive.
Excited.
But apprehensive.
Can I do this again?
Labour?
Delivery?
Will everything be OK?
Will I cope with a baby??
No sleep??
MY BEST FRIEND SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Waaaahhhhhhhhhh :’(
I am large for my dates – I had an appointment with my midwife a couple of weeks ago – should have been measuring somewhere between 32 and 33 weeks but actually measured… 36 – 37 weeks! eeek!! 
Scan appointment was made for the next day and sure enough… it showed that Bug or Buglette – is hooo-ajj. (huge)
I had to have a glucose tolerance test (which I had previously declined) to make sure there was none of the diabeeeeties in there causing massive babyness. I had declined it earlier seeing as the only reason for it was that I have a raised BMI. I read up on gestational diabetes a lot … plus having a bit of biology knowledge and interest myself back in the day
I know you if you have it you have a lot of thirst… like very abnormal thirst … a very sweet tooth… glucose in your urine…. a large baby also being a sign … can be more apparent in women with a higher weight etc. but I was stubborn.
I was 26 weeks pregnant – not showing any signs of any of the above apart from the fact that I was overweight.
I had better things to do than sit in a waiting room for 3 hours having blood tests!
But the measurements of big babyness prompted the midwives into flat out ordering me to have the test.
It was negative – as I knew it would be… so I have another scan booked for 23rd June. They have said that if it still looks 4 weeks + ahead in size then I may be offered an induction for early delivery. The consultant was concerned about my hip size ability to deliver an 11lb + baby … EEEEP!
They think if I have it about 37 weeks it would more likely be 9lb ish.
So – to intervene or not to intervene.
I am half way through – or more really – my penultimate week at work. Next week last week – woooohooo! Am knackered! So that’s good – obviously things are crazy busy at work and I am busy training a replacement for me as well as trying to keep everything going in general worky type stuff. Also simultaneously doing the job of a member of staff who is on holiday until the day I leave….
*deep breath*
But – all looking good.
Can’t say I’m that thrilled about the prospect of impending agony again ….but hey…..
I am trying to be positive!
A lot going on round here you know
So…. you may or may not have noticed that I’ve not been around really.
It’s been very hard.
I have been desperate to blog but I’m stuck in that place again where the things I want to talk about unfortunately can’t be private because there are people that I know read here or could easily find me… that I want to talk about.
I have stuff to get off my chest and topics to attend to, upsetting things that you could all no doubt help me with but I’m too frightened to do that for fear of saying the wrong thing and offending people I wouldn’t want to offend… upsetting anyone or making anything worse than it is.
So
The majority of my next few posts will undoubtedly be private but I want you to know that if you think you should have access to those, you are probably one of the people that I would want to be reading them anyway… if you would like to read them, then feel free to email me at [lntblogs at gmail dot com] …. I can only say no …. (but I probably won’t).
I just can’t run the risk of some big or little people coming across things I would like to churn out….
I will be back … now I have decided to do this… it may take me a few days but I’ll be back.
Ella
Ella has just spent the last hour saying
‘Dirty dirty dirty’
In a Devon accent.
BN laughed so much he spat drink all over the place and I nearly choked on a pitta bread.
My children… and their obsession with the horny and the dirty??
Rowan
Rowan’s reading is really coming along in a major way now. Lots of working hard and really trying to read most things that come her way.
A really good friend of ours came to visit a couple of weeks ago and brought with her some reading books that her little boy has outgrown. He’s actually 6 weeks younger than Rowan but has just grasped reading in an amazing way and is reading at the level of an 8 year old.
So … we were reading one of these books the other day and she was doing brilliantly …
±±±±±±±±±±±±
A little boy is walking round his (presumably) family farm and offering all the animals something for breakfast.
On most of the double pages all that is written is “I went to see the cows/sheep/goats” etc. and on the opposite page” ‘Breakfast’ I said” or “I said ‘Breakfast!’ ” under a picture of him feeding the various animals.
She was reading it really well and is starting to understand that it’s OK just to recognise some words such as ‘see’ or ‘to’ ‘the’ and so on rather than having to actually read it every time.
But – we got to the last page and the format changed and her confidence wavered.
The little boy was sitting down to his own breakfast – after gathering some eggs from (again presumably) their own hens.
What it said
In a thought bubble …. ‘I like eggs’
Underneath
“I like Breakfast … I am hungry”
WHat Rowan said:
Breakfast makes me really horny.
BN had to leave the room and the only memory I have of the few minutes after that, is wiping tears from my face
Freddie 02/04/2010 – 13/04/2010
Today was the day that my beautiful little nephew slipped away peacefully after a brave fight to stay here.
I am truly sorry that I never got to meet you and I am so glad that you are at rest
X
Haircut
Bits and Bobs
Blink and you miss it….
Ella has got in to the school that Rowan goes to…
Um – I am 6 months pregnant!
I am off work for the next week.
BN got a promotion at work and a 5K pay rise!!
The ‘book’ arrived that cleverly explains the wherefors and whys and hows of babies and Rowan, Ella and I had a very frank discussion about exactly where things get put and how that seed and that egg get together and do their magic bidness
Rowan laughed a lot and got very embarrassed and then seemed to take it in and is now OK with the whole thing.
Until the next question.
She and Ella are now obsessed with boobs. Bewbs as she pronounces it. Why we have them, when we get them, when they will get them and why…
Oh, the JOY!
Driving is still going well – had a good lesson yesterday despite banging the front of the car on a curb. The new car he had owned for all of 24 hours.
:blush:
Luckily no damage…. thank goodness!!!!
Need to work on practicing my theory – need to organise changing my name on my provisional so I can actually take my theory! And then need to start thinking about getting better at driving so I can take a test..
Hopefully one day I will actually be allowed to drive a car by myself!
Oh I know what I meant to ask – does anyone know anything about company cars? I have the option of getting one or trying to finance one of our own. I know that a company one hits you with tax and also the payment for mileage is not as good – but does anyone have any direct experience or factual info on the actual figures of the tax you get hammered with so that I can make a more informed choice?!
I have no idea what to do!
I can’t think of anything else that’s happened. May have to review my Twitter and come back to it!
oooooomph … and breathe
I am about to start 12 days off work…
Happy happy joy.
I shall update…
Later.
Poorly Pregnito
Ugh.
Have kidney infection.
Yukky.
Temperature and yukkines and … AND a cold and sore throat and cough.
UGH!
Bleurgh – *cough cough*
But… muuuuummmmmy….?
Yeeeees?
But …. how does the baby get in your tummy?
Hmmmm…..
*blink* *swallow*
*gulp*
I’ve been waiting for this question for about the last 12 months. It has suddenly become a whole lot more relevant to her, of course.
Well. How do you think it gets in there?
Well I know you have an egg and Daddy had a seed…. and I know it grows in your tummy.
Yeeeees….?
I think you put it in your mouth and suck it and swallow it and then it goes down into your tummy and grows into the baby.
Hmmmm.
You definitely can’t get pregnant that way. *giggle*
*goes off to Amazon to buy a book*
Woohooo!
I just checked my credit rating after a few months of paying things off and trying really hard and we have gone from very poor ….
to
….
FAIR!!!!!!!
Woohoooo!! National Average, baby!!!!!!
The Swing of Things
I think I’m starting to get my head round the fact that I’m pregnant.
I hate being fat and I hate not being able to move about properly. I’m 24 weeks this week and it’s starting to show in that my centre of gravity is definitely different.. I have balance issues – and I have bending over double issues – in that I can’t do either anymore apparently.
Humph.
I love the fact that there’s a new little life coming and after finishing work early today, BN and I popped into Boots and had a look at newborn coming home outfits…. that made it a little more real along the nicer side of things… just can’t help thinking that I have the crappy ohmygod!mybodyissplittinginhalfwithagony side of things to come first….
Yeah….
Hm.
SO!
Focus.
Am choosing to focus on the baby kicking me, wriggling about, the girls being happy and suggesting names (Spiderman and Bongo) reading about ‘things that will happen this week/month’ to the baby – and not so much about which part of my body won’t work properly this week combined with what damage will be done that cannot be undone this week/month.
PS – does anyone tell you that you will spontaneously start to produce an inordinate amount of stuff in your pants that you don’t need? Or what to do with it!!?
Or that when you sneeze? You’ll probably wee.
Or that your boobs will get stretch marks? On top of the ones they got last time!?!
Or that you could get PSD and feel like someone just kicked you in the fan? ALL day!!?
Or that you get weird hairs on your belly?
Or that you will get a weird bulgy vein thing on your leg that will also ache and make you want to lie down all day whilst eating crisps and pickles and anything that stops moving long enough?
NO! I. don’t. believe. they. do.
But I am happy.
Honestly. I am!
I am!!
We’re waiting for little Baby Spiderman/ Bongo/ Rabbit/ Superhero with happy anticipation and we are FOCUSING on the all the good stuff!
Focus.
Focus. Focus. Focus.
Mother’s Day
I had a lovely day today… sort of…. apart from the tidying! But that was all my own fault to be fair.
If I wasn’t such a messy cow
Lie in, followed by gorgeous morning cuddles – breakfast in bed with the girls while BN fetched and carried and cooked and provided hot drinks and crumpets and croissants and pancakes and it was all delish!
The girls made me their own cards – a really cute one from Rowan she made at school, with her photo on it and her own written message inside. And one from Ella, made at nursrey, with her painty little footprints on it – which I adore.
I don’t know about you – and no judgement or offence intended … but I much prefer that Mother’s Day is about them making something for you. They were so proud to give them to me and it meant so much to receive stuff they created for me. I think when you’re the mummy of your first tiny wee thing, then it’s so nice to get cards from others but to me personally, now they’re old enough to make something themselves, it means so much. I told BN that I didn’t need or want gifts or anything from card shops and I know he was reluctant – he loves making a fuss of me and showing me that he cares – but we could do with saving the pennies and it’s the thought that counts.
I just loved it, just the way it was.
Had a lovely snuggle in bed and the girls were cuteness personified … while BN folded and put away all the girls’ laundry and cleared out some clothes they’ve grown out of, we snuggled and giggled until we decided that we really should do the cleaning that we promised we would…
The girls played in the garden – enjoying the sunshine making an appearance and the chance to be noisy and run about.
I spent the day cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, mopping, Dettol-ing and tidying the girls’ room, our room and the landing.
I feel much better about the house now – it was looking like someone had coloured it grey getting a wee bit dusty.
Then…
Lazy afternoon – well I say afternoon – not actually sure that I got out of my bed until about 12.30pm so half a lazy afternoon.
Now looking forward to a nice tea and a sit down with some pre-recorded episodes of Desperate Housewives!
Hope all you yummy mummys had a lovely day and that someone spoilt you too
x
